We have all-staff meetings at work, where an expert in their field comes and talks to us about different topics that relate to our work. The first all-staff meeting of the year was an in-service in affordable housing. It was on this delightful February Tuesday that I learned that emotional support animals are not breed-restricted. Yes, you read that right. If I can get a mental health professional to affirm that my ADHD would be supported by caring for a guinea pig, our apartment complex’s rule allowing only dogs and cats would not apply to little Chorizo Quesarito Elizabeth Robb-Scott. Stay tuned for progress updates.
Our latest all-staff meeting was led by a mental health professional from one of the mental health centers that Eaton Senior Communities partners with. She presented on the 8 Dimensions of Wellness, the cornerstones that form our programming and work ethic at Eaton.
Eaton leadership defines wellness as “a dynamic process of change and growth.” This process comprises 8 dimensions:
Physical
Emotional
Intellectual
Environmental
Social
Spiritual
Financial
Occupational
As each dimension was introduced and elaborated upon, we were invited to do a personal assessment of where we found ourselves, rating each dimension from 1 (lowest) to 10 (highest). I wasn’t surprised by most of my scores, finding the assessment to be accurate and reflective of my level of wellness in each area, except social wellness.
It’s unsurprising now, as I look from a big picture lens at factors that promote or inhibit social wellness, but at the time I was genuinely surprised at how low my social wellness score was. Where other areas boasted a 6-8 range, my social wellness score was 3.
I spent the rest of the day thinking about that. “ Huh, I guess I am kind of lonely,” I said to myself. One of our action items was to share in our table groups about a goal for ourselves based on our self-assessments, an action item, and a timeline. I shared that my goal is to increase my social wellness score. My action step was going to be finding a hiking group to join - but I haven’t found one that meets outside of Sundays - and my timeline was today.
I’m still working on ways to meet new people. I think that my community garden plot (SO EXCITED!) will be a good place to do that. Denver Urban Gardens offers events like garden cleanup, and masterclasses at a very reasonable rate, which will be a great way to learn about growing food in the desert climate of Colorado, and to meet people who are also interested in making strides toward sustainable living.
As a pastor and community chaplain at Eaton, I have grown to care for my congregation, and the residents who come to talk to me during the week. My regular “drop-ins,” are highlights in my week. But, we maintain a professional distance, so we aren’t friends in the conventional sense.
I’m not isolated, but, at times, and increasingly since our all-staff self-assessments, I find myself feeling lonely.
And in those times, I am grateful for the advances in technology that keep me tethered to friends and family through video chat apps like Marco Polo, phone calls, and texts. In those times, I look forward to my in-person doctoral seminar in Atlanta, where I’ll be with my peers - not just on Zoom, but in real life. In those times, I think of the friends we left behind in Atlanta, and of the friends I’ve made in the years since we left Atlanta - like my WakeMed colleagues who quickly became not just colleagues, but friends; and my pastoral associate - a constant encouragement who knitted me a pair of house slippers just because.
When I miss my closest friends, I’m reminded that I haven’t made all the friends I’m going to make in my life, yet, and I look forward to meeting each one.
In this time of longer daylight hours (praise the LORD for that), I’m enjoying sitting in the living room, natural light streaming in, and reading or just basking. I’m enjoying cuddling with Reesee the Cat, and watching reruns of ER, while I work to craft a Doctor of Ministry project that is meaningful, attainable, and sustainable.
If you or someone you know struggle(s) with loneliness, don’t feel ashamed. It is a real state of being that can happen at times in life. Reach out to a friend, check out Meetup or other networking websites like it to find friends with similar interests to yours. Don’t be afraid to try something new, if you can afford it. I’m dying to give rock climbing a try, but it is quite the expensive hobby. Journal, read, start an enterprise, even; but know that you don’t have to do all of it alone.
In this dynamic process of change and growth, I’m realizing I can make some changes to address social wellness, like taking gardening classes to meet new people, and working at the library at Iliff School of Theology where people from Andrew’s cohort can drop in and say hi, hosting people we’ve met or reconnected with at our home, and staying in touch with family and friends miles and miles away.
How do you tend to your wellness in all its varied dimensions?